Tips from PAL Moms is a column at PALS Magazine where we ask you, the PAL mom, for feedback about your experience during pregnancy after loss. We ask a question on our Facebook Page and hope that you can help answer it while also benefiting from the answers, all in an effort to relate and learn from fellow moms who “get it.”



I’m looking for some advice from other mamas who are trying to conceive after loss. One of my co-workers just announced her pregnancy, and I’m having some mixed emotions. I know it’s going to be so hard to see her every day. It will be a constant reminder that my baby isn’t here and that we haven’t given her a sibling yet. How did you cope at work when interacting with pregnant co-workers?


Oh, mama, first of all, let me just say how very sorry I am to hear about your daughter. I know your heart hurts and that you miss her tremendously.

As far as your co-worker goes, the best advice I can give you is to be gentle with yourself. Some days are going to be very hard, and others will be easier. Instead of focusing on how to get through the next several months, try to remember to breathe and focus on each day…or break it down in smaller increments if needed.

I remember how hard it was to be around pregnant moms and new moms after my loss. I really did have to remind myself to breathe and get through it one day at a time. After I got pregnant again, it was a little easier,  but those feelings of pain never truly go away.

Today, my rainbow baby is almost 18 months old, and even now pregnancy announcements are bittersweet – not because I’m not happy for the expectant parents because I am, especially the ones who’ve had to fight through many odds to make those announcements. It’s bittersweet because it takes me back to a time where I experience what I lost all over again; and once again, I wonder about what could have been. It also makes me afraid for them because once you’ve lost,  you know how precious and how fragile life really can be. So you watch other pregnancies progress with bated breath — always hoping for the best outcome.