Tips from PAL Moms is a column at PALS Magazine where we ask you, the PAL mom, for feedback about your experience during pregnancy after loss. We ask a question on our Facebook Page and hope that you can help answer it while also benefiting from the answers, all in an effort to relate and learn from fellow moms who “get it”.

Question:  “The one year anniversary of my loss is coming up. I’m curious as to how other moms have celebrated the birthday of the baby they’ve lost?”


Tia – “My daughter’s 1st birthday just passed in June. We decided to buy a (fake) sunflower every year (so the flower will never die) and light a candle for her. It was subtle, simple, and perfect for us.”

Ashley – “I took the entire day to take care for myself physically and emotionally by doing my favorite things. I celebrated her brief time with us by playing with and enjoying my family and celebrating life. And of course, lots of hugs to her 4 older siblings and the Rainbow Baby she sent.”

Nika – “The first few years, we did something together, even if it was just long walk at the park–and we always got a cupcake for each of us. We are 4 and 5 years out now, and we still do cupcakes, but we started doing something nice for others. This year for our son’s birthday we collected books and toys for our local resource center.”

Aviva – “I went somewhere I thought she’d enjoy, a wildlife rescue safari, I was 2 months pregnant at the time, and spent the day alone from outward appearance, but really with my 2 children.”

Neary – “We planted a dogwood tree out front of our house. They were in bloom in the weeks leading up to losing him, and so will always be in bloom on his birthday. I love that, in an abstract kind of way, we’ll have the opportunity to watch him grow.”

Jessa – “We had a picnic at the cemetery with family. It was nice.”

Crystal – “We go every year and have a balloon release at her grave with our family, we sing, we write well wishes on the balloons, we pray and have cupcakes!”

Donna – “I like to release balloons, can be done from home, cemetery, park, beach. I have cake, too. Nice to have friends over if you have some close enough, too. I’ve also lit a candle.  There are no rules, anything you feel up to.”


*To read more Tips from PAL Moms about this specific question visit our Facebook Page.

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