I’ve officially entered the “awkward belly” stage where my belly is so big on my long torso that it just looks weird.

Week 39 and I can officially say that I have never been this pregnant before in my life. I’m going to be honest when I say that I’m a little discouraged about it. My first came at 38 weeks and my second came at 37 weeks. While I am a firm believer that baby comes when baby is ready, my body is begging this peanut to finish the evacuation process. My pelvis (pubic bone and tailbone, specifically) is in excruciating pain that’s leaving me in tears a few times a day due to the weight shift while getting up and down from sitting to standing position. I have done a few exercises proven to get baby into a more optimal birth position and relieve the pressure on my pubic bone. They help for awhile.

I skipped last week’s Bump Day Blog post because I was in what I thought was real labor. It ended up being false labor or prodromal labor. My contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes steadily, regularly and uncomfortably (to the point of nausea!) while I was laying in bed, so I got up and did what any sane person would do…cleaned my house. I cleaned and timed contractions until well after midnight when I tried returning to bed, but my husband wouldn’t stop snoring so I got back up and came to the couch to continue logging contractions. Sometime in the wee morning hours I fell asleep. When my daughter woke me up at 7am my contractions had tapered off a little and weren’t as intense, so I finished packing our hospital bag thinking they’d return. After a day of trying to get them to pick up and literally feeling like the baby would fall out of me, I went into labor and delivery just to decide to come home hours later because I was making little cervical progress.

So, here I am a week later and I’ve been experiencing labor like contractions every night/every other night around the same time. Eventually they taper off enough that I can get some rest just to be back at it the next night. To say I’m exhausted would be an understatement. I’m exhausted and emotional, but so, so grateful.

All of that being said, I can be grateful and wishful. I pray so diligently that this is my last Bump Day Blog post. Not because I haven’t enjoyed having the privilege of blogging through my grief surrounding my pregnancy after the loss of Abraham here at PALS aimed at an audience that truly feels the words I write (because I SO have), but because I’ll be over 40 weeks when my next post is due..

Side note: Did I ever mention that I’m actually 40 weeks THIS week by date of conception, my own detailed calculation and ovulation tracking? So, there’s that…but for all intents and medical purposes we’ve been going off of the date determined by ultrasound. Not that any specific date matters anyway because it’s all estimated. Once again, baby will come when baby is ready.

Anyway, the next time I post here at PALS I pray it’s to introduce my precious rainbow baby. The wait is so worth it.

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