Guest Post by Christie Abbott

As parents we do our best to cushion every fall, kiss every bruise, and mend every heart break, all while praying for the ability to take every ounce of pain our children feel in this world away. I believe this is true for all parents, but more so loss parents because we’ve been faced with the unimaginable right from the start. We shelter our children from the harsh realities of life in hopes that they are lucky enough to hold onto that innocent, carefree light for just a little while longer. I pray with everything I have that my daughter never understands the heartache that proceeded her arrival into this world, and I may never tell her. But, instead I will always reminded her of how wanted she is. I pray that her family including myself is successful in building her self esteem so high that no matter what life throws her way she never forgets her self worth.

Growing up, my daughter won’t know how many times her parents stared at an ultrasound machine only to be told that her siblings didn’t make. She won’t know the hours spent in doctor’s offices or hospital rooms. She won’t know the fear that accompanied the joy when mommy showed daddy the two little lines that meant she was here.

She won’t understand how jealous her mom was of women who carry babies with ease and don’t have bellies covered in painful bruises from 100s of shots. The jealousy that came when another mommy carelessly announced her pregnancy and still got to take her babies home even when they didn’t do everything absolutely perfect. The jealousy that some women get to grow their babies without bleeding, pain, and labor that doesn’t end in bringing a baby home.

I may never tell my daughter these things, but I will tell her this: You were prayed for and you are wanted more than any child ever was, is, or could be. You are cherished, you are strong, you are resilient. You will be kind to every person you meet because we never know what struggles god has put before them, please always stay humble and appreciate this gift we call life. I pray you continue to view this world through eyes of wonder and never fear what’s in store ahead of you, you have angels that will guide you through your journey. Always remember that I am your biggest fan and your number one supporter and no matter how many time life knocks you down I will be right there to help you get up again.

Christie Abbott was born and raised in the beautiful state of Montana, her biggest dream in life was to start a family and raise her children with the same small town values that were instilled in her. She and her husband began their journey with child loss at a young age as the suffered through several miscarriages, in the summer of 2015 they delivered their stillborn daughter Haiden at just 5 and a half months gestation due to her heart stopping unexpectedly. Following this tragedy they continued to try and were met with yet more loss. They decided to take a break and focus on their relationship as these experiences had inevitably taken a toll on every part of their life. After a year of patience and healing it was time to try again, now with more knowledge behind their loss they had a plan. After enduring a rough pregnancy that was met with one complication after another including a hemorrhage, blood thinners, shortening cervix, bed rest, preterm labor scares, severe anxiety with OCD, they finally welcomed their beautiful LIVING daughter, Brynnlea Orrin Abbott into this word on October 17, 2017 at 37 weeks +2 days. It’s important to not lose hope when the storm gets rough because there may just be a rainbow waiting in the distance.

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