20141012_132951 At last year’s ‘Walk to Remember’ event, we were getting ready to leap hearts first into our final IVF journey to give our Rowan a little brother or sister. We had just brought home our furgirl, Lucy, and we were feeling such hope. This year, we are merely a couple of weeks (perhaps days!) away from meeting our Li’l Bub! The Walk took place Sunday at Second Beach in Newport, as it always does in the beginning of October, to commemorate Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. We had gorgeous fall weather as a large group of bereaved family members took the 1 mile stroll which ended on the beach overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. We were thrilled to meet a mom and dad who have been attending the walk for 14 years (they missed last year, our first year attending, due to another commitment). We met a mom who lost her first son just before we lost Rowan, and with her was her 9 week old son’s father and her mother; it was great to see someone so close to our grief timeline with their precious rainbow. Again, this year’s event filled us with more hope. We tossed our flowers onto the waves, recited the loss/grief poems shared with us by the nurses who arrange the walk, and were able to feel the love of both our boys all around us.

My anxiety gets the better of me sometimes, mostly at night. As we teeter between weeks 37 and 38 (the time frame during which we lost Rowan), I have to keep reminding myself that it is possible to celebrate and remember Ro while celebrating and waiting for Li’l Bub. I have to keep reminding myself that we’ve lived most of the moments since that horrible day BELIEVING God would give us a second chance, that He would bring another miracle into our lives.

BUB IS THAT MIRACLE! And he’s on his way…soon.

I’d love to hear how you are balancing both grief and celebration during the month of October.

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