As each passing day comes to a close, I continue to be thankful to be pregnant with our sweet rainbow. I’m trying to focus on what I need to accomplish before our boy arrives, but focusing has been difficult.

There are so many things I want to do, but I worry it is too soon to do them. I am holding back because I feel some sort of guilt or have a fear of doing something that will cause something bad to happen. Why do our minds play such cruel tricks on us when we’ve already suffered so much? Adding to this is the fact that my mom (who3909d84b220b99043de6c8bab13486ff embodies every superpower known to moms the world over, and provides the best motivation to get shit done…pardon the profanity) lives more than 800 miles away.

Within the next few weeks,  I need to pack the hospital bag for both our little guy and myself. We need to take the car seat to the fire department for safe installation in the back seat. I need to launder a half dozen of the cloth diapers I never had a chance to pre-wash 5 or 6 times when I was expecting Rowan. I’ve avoided doing Rowan’s baby book for too, too long, and now his little brother is almost here. I’ve not put any pictures up on the nursery wall. I forget how to use the stroller, and the pack and play. I haven’t bought any disposable diapers for back up. There are gaps in our baby care products that I need to figure out before he arrives. We need to choose a pediatrician. The house needs a good de-cluttering. I don’t think this is a thorough list, but it’s a  start.

The past couple of days, I’ve been soul-searching, and trying so very hard to motivate myself to put my fears and anxiety aside for the sake of Little Bub; I think to myself, Rowan would want me to do my best for his brother, but that is when I break down and cry, wanting Rowan here waiting with us for our second miracle.

Perhaps you’ve felt something similar to this, and would be willing to share how you got through it. How did/do you motivate yourself instead of feeling guilt or fear? What suggestions do you have for the PAL mom who needs encouragement to move forward even just one day at a time? I appreciate you sharing any of your stories and ideas, as I am open to receive your wisdom!

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