This week hit my husband and me pretty hard.

Shannyn and her husband walk in the Waddle Walk

Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson

Up until this week, I think we both have been living in this pregnancy with an “if” mentality.

If we get to bring this baby home from the hospital…

If our family gets to meet him…

If we make it through this pregnancy…

There’s been a very unhealthy balance of hope and fear every day in the past 29 weeks but this week we let our guards down a bit and started saying “when” more.

When we get to bring our son home from the hospital…

When our family gets to meet him…

When we make it through this pregnancy…

It feels so nice to talk about our lives with this positivity and this possibility now!

It’s so exciting, but it’s still so scary. It’s scary because we know his health isn’t guaranteed and there are so many other things that could still go wrong. However, we’re allowing ourselves to feel more hope than fear now, which is so refreshing.

Shannyn with friends

Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson

We jumped back into the nursery planning again, revisited the registry items, and signed up for birth prep and baby care classes. We are also taking full advantage of as many date nights, pool days, and evenings with friends as we can while it’s just the two of us. We are moving forward full steam ahead!

Shannyn at the pool

Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson

We’ve been trying to enjoy as many moments as we can this entire pregnancy and I definitely think we’ve conquered the skepticism – at least for this week.

That’s the beauty and the beast of pregnancy after loss, you can be high in the sky one minute and digging out of a hole the next. I feel like we need to acknowledge the pothole we hit on Friday this past week. We learned that women and families all over the United States had one of their basic human rights stripped from them. All opinions aside, My husband and I feel honored that we will get the chance to educate and raise a son who respects women’s bodies and minds. We’re going to focus on staying positive, being kind to others, and using our voices to fight for positive change.

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