This was a week I will remember forever! My husband and I always loved the idea of going on a trip to spend some time together before our life gets a little crazier. Although, I would not have been able to dream up the trip we actually got to take this week.
A few months ago, my husband got a call about a trip to London for a work event, and they wanted the spouses to come along, if possible. It sounded like such an awesome opportunity for an adventure but with me being pregnant, it wasn’t exactly an easy decision.
We had so many conversations in those few months about whether it was smart for me to travel at this point in my pregnancy, for both my physical and mental health. I went straight to my doctors, and I thought for sure they’d be a bit concerned about the trip. Nope. They said we could and should go for it as long as I made sure to stretch and move my legs every few hours while traveling. Easy. There was no reason for them to be concerned. I even checked back in with them multiple times throughout the past few months to make sure we got the same answer. They gave me the thumbs up every time, so I knew that giving myself permission to travel over an ocean was the hurdle I’d have to get over.
Here’s a summary of my internal argument. Half of me was saying, “Absolutely not. You would never forgive yourself if something happened while you were away from home. Staying put is the smarter decision.” The other half was saying, “Don’t let fear drive this decision. You’ll come up with an emergency plan for a worst-case scenario. Plus, you never know when you will have an opportunity like this again.”
I played out every outcome in my mind and tried to anticipate how we would react. In the end, I decided that I wanted to go for it even though I knew it would induce some – I mean – a lot of anxiety.
We planned our trip to London and decided that Spain would be an amazing location to add to the back end for some R&R, so we’ve spent the last week in London and Mallorca! The flights were so stressful, and every twinge and bathroom break had me questioning whether I had made the right decision. When we touched down in London, I felt like I could take my first deep breath and start to enjoy this vacation.
London was incredible! We did a little bit of shopping, enjoyed some great coffee, and spent a day at an estate outside of the city. When my husband’s work event was over, we hopped on a plane to Mallorca and spent the next 5 days doing nothing but soaking in the beautiful scenery, relaxing by the pool, and enjoying amazing food!
Surprisingly, my anxiety was almost nonexistent. I really have felt like I’ve been living in a dream this week.
I’ve been moved to tears multiple times because even with all of the pain we’ve experienced recently, I feel so much gratitude. I think about the time my husband and I have had together and how incredibly bittersweet this trip is without Sophie. It was a head-on collision of grief and gratitude. Everything would look so different right now with her in our lives, and I would give anything to have her here with us. However, I also tried to find peace knowing that she would be proud of us for celebrating each other and taking this time away before her brother joins our family.
Now, as we close out the second trimester, I sit staring at the Tramuntana mountains in Mallorca, and we start our travels back this evening. We are so hopeful and excited for this next chapter in our life with our son and our angel daughter keeping an eye on us. Fingers crossed for safe travels back!