This was the week we shared the news about our baby boy with social media!
Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson – Photo Credit: T.Marie Photo
Social media is a wild concept.
I have been active on several platforms for many years now and I still go back and forth and around and around on whether or not I’m grateful or annoyed that it is in my life. After we lost Sophie, those feelings just got even more complicated. A few days after our loss, I remember thinking it seemed disgusting to exploit her life like that on social media. It felt wrong. It felt like an intimate and painful moment in our lives that I did not want to invite others into. I was firm in that opinion – but that surprisingly didn’t last long.
Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson – Photo Credit: T.Marie Photo
A couple of weeks later, I remember going on a walk with my husband and we saw some of our neighbors up ahead that knew we were expecting but did not know that we lost the baby. As we got closer to them, I started having a mini panic attack. I was panting heavily, sweating, and a million thoughts were racing through my head. What would I say if they asked how I was feeling? How could I not break down if they asked if we were excited? I wanted to run so fast in the other direction. My husband held on to my arm as they started talking to us. I stood there in silence while he had a very surface-level conversation with them for what felt like an hour (it was probably a total of one minute), and then we walked away.
After this encounter, I knew I had to share the news about losing Sophie.
Sure, my anxiety was a huge piece of it, but the even bigger reason for this decision was to tell Sophie’s story. I wanted to have control of the narrative. The idea of people finding out about our daughter in a giant game of telephone was horrifying. I did not want people to have all of the details – and I do not think they deserve all of the details – but, I needed people to know about how real Sophie was and what her short life meant to us.
As soon as we shared the news about her on social media, I felt instant relief. Our community of support grew exponentially and I was so grateful that all of our family, friends and even acquaintances could stand beside us and love on Sophie as we grieve.
Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson – Photo Credit: T.Marie Photo
All of this context seems relevant because that experience shaped how we decided to move forward with announcing our second pregnancy.
We decided that we wanted that same community rooting for us and sending us love as soon as possible. Even though we know just how real the possibility of loss is, we wanted everyone to know about this baby boy as soon as we felt comfortable! It was terrifying and exciting, but we are so glad that everyone knows about this sweet baby.
Author’s Personal Collection/Shannyn Hanson – Photo Credit: T.Marie Photo
There is certainly no right or wrong – or easy – way of sharing the news about a new baby, but we’re trying not to let fear guide our decisions and choose hope.
Proud of you for being brave and sharing your story! It helps not only those that are struggling with a loss, but also those that haven’t, but can learn how to support friends when they lose a sweet little one. I love that you’re choosing hope! So happy for you and Mitchell and baby boy! Lots of ❤️!
Thank you, Lisa! We are so proud to share our story and to hear that it is helpful. ❤️
My dearest Shannyn – you are a true inspiration! Your dedication to allowing Sophie’s story to be told and be shared and soar is EVERYTHING. While her life was short, her story deserves an eternity. So proud of you and Mitchell. Love Mom!!
We could not do it alone! 😘
This is amazing, Shannyn! I love hearing and learning about Sophie and her legacy! This is such an important message and I look forward to reading more so I can educate myself on how I can best support someone going through a similar heartbreak. You’re such a strong mama and I’m so proud of you.