While there are more and more resources for pregnancy, infant and child loss, as well as pregnancy after loss, becoming available, there are still few resources for LGBTQ+ families experiencing loss and pregnancy after loss. As Jessica Clasby-Monk wrote, “I would describe being a same sex couple experiencing baby loss as being in a small pond, within a small pond.”
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Additionally, the LGBTQ+ community has 2X more risk of a pregnancy ending in stillbirth, according to two studies, “Adverse pregnancy and birth outcomes in sexual minority women from the National Survey of Family Growth” and “Sexual Orientation Disparities in Pregnancy and Infant Outcomes,” from the National Institute of Health. These studies showed that “pregnancies to lesbian women were significantly more likely to end in stillbirth compared to heterosexual-WSM,” and “This study documents significant sexual orientation inequities in pregnancy and birth outcomes.”
We’ve compiled some resources for LGBTQ+ families and will continually update this list as more resources become available. Stories are a powerful tool to connect, so many of these resources are families sharing their stories of loss and life after loss.
LGBTQ+ Loss Stories and Resources
#LGBTBabyLoss
#LGBTBabyLoss is a resource created by PALS former bump day blogger, Jessica Clasby-Monk of The Legacy of Leo. The #LGBTBabyLoss blog series shares experiences of early miscarriage, recurrent loss, stillbirth, neonatal death, prematurity, preeclampsia, and twin loss.
“There is as much diversity in death, as there is in life.” ~Jessica Clasby-Monk
We also encourage you to follow Jessica on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
LGBTQ+ Reproductive Loss
The LGBTQ+ Reproductive Loss website is designed as a resource for LGBTQ+ parents and families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, failed adoption, infertility, and/or sterility, and those who support them—family & friends, medical & adoption professionals, therapists & counselors.
It is a companion to the book Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making by Christa Craven.
Information Sheet from the Australian Psychological Society
This information sheet describes what pregnancy loss might mean for LGBT people, how mental health professionals might assist LGBT people who have experienced pregnancy loss, as well as providing some useful resources.
Personal Stories
- Pregnancy Loss: The Neverknown by Michael Ravitch at Give InKind – a dad’s experience of pregnancy loss with a surrogate
- LGBTQ Pregnancy Loss And Miscarriage Often Means Grieving In The Gaps by Brianna Sharpe
- To Be Loved; On trans parenthood, loneliness, and loss – an essay written by a trans dad and gestational parent, Aakash Kishore, who lost his first baby at 21 weeks in November 2021
- I hope with all my heart by Sophie at Miscarriage Matters
- LGBTQ+ Loss Stories from Tommy’s
Articles
- When miscarriage happens to LGBTQ2 parents by Dr. Jessica Zucker at Xtra
- Pregnancy Loss Is Lonely — Especially for Transgender People by Sarah Prager at Healthline Parenthood
- Understanding Transgender Pregnancy (and Loss) by Huong Diep
- Pregnancy loss: Lesbian and bisexual womens’ experience of loss at Pink Families
- Miscarrying while queer: How to care for yourself after pregnancy loss when the resources aren’t built for us by Marea Goodman and Ray Rachlin at Motherly
Books
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Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making by Christa Craven – Reproductive Losses considers LGBTQ people’s experiences with miscarriage, stillbirth, failed adoptions, infertility, and sterility. Drawing on Craven’s training as a feminist anthropologist and her experiences as a queer parent who has experienced loss, Reproductive Losses includes detailed stories drawn from over fifty interviews with LGBTQ people (including those who carried pregnancies, non-gestational and adoptive parents, and families from a broad range of racial/ethnic, socio-economic, and religious backgrounds) to consider how they experience loss, grief, and mourning. The book includes productive suggestions and personal narratives of resiliency, commemorative strategies, and communal support, while also acknowledging the adversity many LGBTQ people face as they attempt to form families and the heteronormativity of support resources for those who have experienced reproductive loss.
Other Resources
- Return to Zero: HOPE – Support groups, workshops, and other resources
- Baby in Heaven – Resources and Support for LGBTQ+ Parents
- Three Little Birds – Resources and Support for LGBTQ+ Parents, including a Facebook support group for miscarriage and preconception support
- Empty Arms – Resources for LGBTQ+ Parents
LGBTQ+ Pregnancy After Loss
Pregnancy After Loss Support is honored to have had three LGBTQ+ courageous parents share their pregnancy after loss journeys as bump day bloggers at PALS.
- Follow Jessica Clasby-Monk’s pregnancy after loss
- Follow Marjanna Barber-Dubois’s pregnancy after loss – “Pregnant During Pride, Again” is such a poignant look at pregnancy after loss for a queer couple
- Follow Alli Baker’s pregnancy after loss, which sadly ended in TFMR after a terminal diagnosis
We hope these resources help you feel less alone on your loss journey as an LGBTQ+ family.
