In November 2020, my boyfriend now husband and I finally decided to expand our family. So, I made my appointment to have my IUD removed and start to make it happen. Well, it happened very quickly! On December 10, 2020, I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited, I bought a big sister shirt for our daughter Isabela and started telling family, even though they say not to. We were over the moon.
2021 rolled in, and I had my first sonogram. I saw the flickering heartbeat and the little bean that was growing. I was given the due date of August 30, 2021, and was told to come back in two weeks for a viability check.
When I went back two weeks later, I knew something was very wrong based on the way the tech was acting and what I was seeing.
I’m a labor and delivery nurse, so I can kinda tell what things are. The tech quickly finished and told me to get dressed and that someone would be with me shortly.
My OB is a very close friend of mine. I delivered her daughter and she almost delivered my first daughter, so we have an awesome bond together. So, when she came in that room and sat down and started asking me questions–if I had any bleeding or cramping or leaking of fluid–I knew something was wrong. I knew my worst fear was happening. I will never forget what she told me, “I’m so sorry, Courtney, but both Dr. Berry and I believe this is not a viable pregnancy. There is no growth or heartbeat.” I remember just staring at her trying not to cry and finally, she said, “It’s OK to cry,” and I just started bawling my eyes out.
I have personally helped so many women go through their own type of loss that when it became my turn I couldn’t believe that it was happening to me.
They gave me many options and told me that I should go home, talk with my husband, and call and let them know what my decision would be. I made a decision pretty quickly. I chose to get a D&C because I knew that I needed to end the nightmare quickly rather than try and pass the baby on my own. I had my D&C on January 21, 2021. I was told no sex until my numbers dropped and until I was healed physically and mentally. But, I knew deep down in my heart that I needed to be pregnant again before the due date of that baby came.
Once my numbers dropped, my husband and I decided to try again, and sure enough, on March 12, 2021, I had four positive pregnancy tests.
I was excited but scared. My husband was still traumatized from our miscarriage and he refused to believe that this was going to turn into something real until he could hear or see a heartbeat himself. I made my first appointment just like I did before. But, unfortunately only six weeks into my pregnancy I had a huge bleed. I thought I was miscarrying again. So, my doctor brought me in for a sonogram. During this time I don’t think I breathed for a single time. When the sonogram tech told me she saw a baby with a heartbeat, I started crying and my OB did too. It turned out I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was given a due date of November 22, 2021. After that they had me go back at 10 weeks and do another sonogram. At that appointment, they say the hemorrhage had shrunk, and this baby was finally sticking.
On May 1st, my husband and I got married, and on May 9th, right before Mother’s Day, I found out I was having a girl! My rainbow was finally real!
Fast forward to October, I started having severe cramping and I started dilating. I was pulled out of work at 33 weeks and then at 36 weeks I was diagnosed with intrauterine growth restriction and had to have an induction at 37 weeks.
My Sweet rainbow baby, Eva Sofia, made her grand debut on November 2, 2021, at 9:15 am.
She weighed in at 5lbs 8 oz and stood 18.5 inches.
I finally could breathe. I made it, she made it and was alive!!!
I wrote this in hopes of helping other women go through some thing that is thought to be taboo. I wanted to let women know that they are not alone and to never give up ❤️ thank you for reading my story
This made me cry all over again. This was a the saddest because I couldn’t help her. I’m so very proud of you Courtney! You did good! You did sooo good