8 More weeks…  8 weeks until I will have a baby.

Crunch time. Getting down to the wire. Doing inventories of what is still needed, and what we will need to get. I am getting the question from folks almost daily, “What do you need?” *shrugs* Sanity? Bottles? I am not quite sure how to answer. Live in Nanny? Funding for daycare for the rest of my natural life- or however long I need to work for.

Rachel's 32-week bump: This is 32 weeks

Had my first Non-Stress Test this week.

One of the nurses remembered me from last time and was so excited to see me. It was so nice to have a familiar face. True to Hartsfield form, my kiddo was a hyper maniac in the womb while they were trying to get a baseline. Jokes on them, he was only calm for 2 minutes. (She had physical proof on the tape that prints out). She also did a fluid check, meaning that with Gestational Diabetes (GD) there is the risk that if my sugars are too high/uncontrolled I will have too much fluid. Good news, I was smack in the middle of where they wanted my fluid pockets to be. (Fluid pockets are the areas around the baby where there is a tiny amount of room for the baby to move/wiggle.)

Rainbow had her first official stomach bug. She had vomited in the past due to ear infections. This one was empty the stomach in its entirety. I have read other articles about when your rainbow is sick, your brain goes to the WORST places. I did when she had fevers in the past. However, the throwing up, crying and saying, “I don’t like it, I don’t want to throw up,” really just made me want to cry for her. We’ve all been there. I did find myself wondering at what point I need to take her to the hospital to get fluids, and if this will ruin her throat… the list went on. She got over it in 12-14 hours. Husband stayed home with her so I can save my time off for when Caboose gets here. The entire day I was checking in to make sure she was ok and recovering.

The worry never ceases.

I was very lucky this week also to have a friend in town. She is the friend that is just wonderful for my soul. She was out visiting her husband’s family, but I was able to get in a few hours with her. It was amazing. Husband came with us, and we played a fun game while our daughters played together for the first time ever. Her daughter is six months younger than Rainbow, and it was mildly hilarious to see the size difference. Rainbow lives in the 90th percentile wise for height, her daughter lives in the teens for height. You would’ve thought they were years apart.

Every pregnancy is different. I’ve said it once, I will say it 100 times. I am uncomfortable, with 8 weeks to go. I get out of breath walking around the house. Folding laundry is like a marathon. Eating small meals throughout the day because my stomach is tiny tiny now. I am not sure there is a comfortable sitting/standing or laying position that exists. Sleep is in small spurts in between leg cramps and bathroom breaks.

Another friend of mine commented that I am “all baby in there”, aka I am growing OUT forwards vs side to side. With Rainbow I grew both ways. Caboose seems to think that forward is the best way to go. I have a belly support band, which ends up compressing my bladder more than usual, so then I am just peeing more often.

I am not saying I am not thankful for this special gift. I am not saying that I am happy that I feel like a planet.  I just want you all to know that this point is HARD.

You don’t feel great, maybe your acid reflux is so bad that you are mainlining antacids, or your ankles are swelling when you walk, or your sciatica is so painful you cry regularly. This is the part that reminds us that we are strong. We can create life in our wombs and grow many sizes to accommodate the growing human. Our anxiety, worry, fears are all valid. This is the point where we need to find the small amount of hope that we have been harboring and hold it tight.  As Rachel Whalen from An Unexpected Family Outing told me a few weeks ago, she is holding hope and excitement for me because it is still scary for me to hold it. So, she is holding it when I need it.

We are so lucky to be in this community of moms who get it. Who are supportive and welcoming of our fears, disappointments and will continue to send us love and hope. I cannot express how much happier I am knowing that I have this group of women who love me and my unborn babies. Who do not judge me when I fear that I will go into preterm labor because I shoveled the driveway. As I have said before, I didn’t have that much with Rainbow. Not many people got the fear.

I am not a huge Valentine’s Celebrator. This year, I would like it if all of you would be my Valentine.  Know that I am holding hope in my heart for your babies. You can do it, moms!

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