Thank you for reading my Bump Day Blog over the last few months of my pregnancy. Today is delivery day. As you are reading this blog post, I am laying in the operating room welcoming our third child via scheduled C-Section. What a crazy ride the last nine months have been, and I finally made it through. At times I really did not see an end in sight, let alone a happy ending. I am hoping everything will go smoothly and baby boy and I will make it through safe, healthy, and happy.
Being told at 9 weeks pregnant that I was battling bi-lateral pulmonary emboli was a complete shock. At 30-years-old and having suffered a full-term stillbirth, I never imagined my life would be in jeopardy. I had multiple blood clots travel through my body, my heart, and land in both lungs. I am incredibly lucky and thankful to be alive. I had to stop working, start daily injections, and let my lungs heal. It took me months to be able to talk without pain and losing my breath, and even longer to not be short of breath by simply getting up. The symptoms of my diagnosis made caring for my sweet toddler difficult, but we made it through!
I took another hit medically when I was in my second trimester. I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and stopped breathing 59 times an hour during the night. I also got the diagnosis of having Gestational Diabetes and started taking insulin shots four times a day. Even with all of these complications, medications, appointments, stress, and anxiety, the end result of holding my healthy baby boy will be all worth it.
Of course, COVID-19 has been another hurdle in this pregnancy after loss journey. Being pregnant after a full-term stillbirth is beyond hard, being pregnant in a pandemic is an added stressor. There, for sure, has been a lack of connection with friends and family that I have been missing. I miss the support of a simple hug on rough days. I have also been mostly stuck at home, minus my multiple medical appointments a week. These added stressors have made my pregnancy after loss journey difficult, but I am finally at the finish line.
I have such a mix of emotions and just hope that everything will go smoothly. I want to so badly meet my healthy baby boy this time around. The sadness of not having Grayson with me is always there, he is always missing, I know I will never be fully complete. I hope in a few hours from you reading this blog post I will have good news to share. ❤️