I feel like this pregnancy is just a constant cycle of monitoring and medication. I wake up in the morning and start my day by poking my finger with a needle and testing my blood for my sugar levels. My next step is to take a mouth full of medication with some water. After that, I take a needle full of medication for my blood clots and jab it into my stomach, hoping there is no pain this time.
I have to get my breakfast ready and make sure I have no more and no less than 45g of carbs.
Once my meal is cooked and my daughter is fed and happy, I load up my second needle of the day. I take my insulin shot and eat breakfast. Now I have to check the time and wait exactly two hours until I poke my finger with a needle and test my blood sugar levels again.
After the two-hour window, I am allowed to have a snack that does not exceed 15g of carbs. Next is lunchtime and the process starts again: no more and no less than 45g of carbs, another needle of insulin, and waiting two hours. After two hours, I poke my finger with a needle and measure my blood sugar levels again. Now I make time for a snack that is no more than 15g of carbs and shortly after that, the dinner process begins. More measuring carbs, taking a needle, and waiting to draw more blood. At 10 pm sharp I need to take my massive amounts of nighttime insulin, several pills, and my 6th needle of the day with my blood clot medication.
My life has been a repeat of this medication and monitoring process for so long, I do not even know what a normal day looks like anymore.
My stomach is covered in bruises and scar tissue, and the daily nausea from my medications just wears me out. I also have about four medical appointments per week with my multiple “ologists.” I try to stay positive, but some days are just hard.
I do truly feel lucky to be alive, and I am grateful for every day I have here with my family. That is something I never forget. However, I do miss my son dearly, and I am constantly worried about losing this baby boy as well. I try to distract myself during the day and keep busy. I cannot let these fears consume me because I have a daughter to care for. A few more weeks and hopefully my journey will ease of these difficulties and I can enjoy this new addition to our family.