One thing that always amazed me about pregnancy after loss was how those months just seemed to drag on and on. Most likely, everyone around you right now is going on about the newness of the year, but for you, the months are continuing on as they have been since you first found out you were expecting again. The concept of time runs less from January to December and more from months one to nine/ten of your pregnancy after a loss. So, if you missed the whole changing of the year, don’t worry you are not alone, and I understand.

Pregnant woman drawing - 9 Ways to Make Pregnancy After Loss Feel Less Endless

Shutterstock/Dean Drobot

Nine months of pregnancy after loss can feel longer than any other calendar year, and for most of us, it can feel like being trapped in a time loop. The anxiety that comes with this experience can also make it hard to find enjoyment in our regular activities, so finding ways to pass the time can seem hard at first. I am not suggesting that you ignore your anxiety, as I understand where it comes from and would always suggest healthy ways to deal with it. However, I would like to suggest nine activities that you can try to help the nine months of pregnancy feel less endless. Please note, these are simply activities meant to be enjoyed and have no medical or mystical benefits whatsoever.

1. Find a new author and read all the books they published

If you can visit your local library or use a subscription platform like Kindle, you can affordably decide on an author you have never tried before and read their books. This can give you something to do during those long nights when you can’t sleep or while waiting at your doctor’s office. As an added bonus, reading aloud can help with memory and of course, reading aloud to your baby provides life-long benefits to them. If you aren’t a book lover, then this can work just as well with music. Find a new artist and run through their catalog. Or what about finding a new director and watching all the movies they have made? The important thing is to have fun with it. This one is purely for your enjoyment and to help you pass the time.

2. Learn to cook new meals

Pick a country or cuisine and just try your hand at it. It doesn’t have to be great right away but keep trying. You have nine months to get there. Maybe challenge yourself to add three new dishes to your weekly roster. I loved cooking during my pregnancies. The pressure was low because no one actually expected me to be cooking, so I got away with some major kitchen fails, but I tried again and got better as time passed. It made me feel good knowing that I was accomplishing something while nourishing my body and my baby.

3. Craft

Do you know those TikTok videos of very pregnant women sanding wood and making dining room tables and farm-style doors? Well, that’s not exactly what I mean. Although, if that is you, you have my utmost respect and admiration. What I mean is to find something that challenges you in a new way. Painting figurines, crocheting, drawing, making fake flowers, or repurposing old clothes. Really anything that can pull your attention away from the anxiety of your pregnancy for a few hours at a time

4. Write

This could include journaling, writing letters to your baby, or even writing the next great novel. Although there is a lot happening during those nine months, there is also a lot of time that you can use to pursue your passions. Write a prayer journal filled with all the things you want for your baby or put your thoughts down on paper and save it to share with your child someday. Maybe the hour-long wait to see your doctor would go by just a little bit faster.

5. Start conversations with someone at the OBGYN’s office

Okay, before you keep scrolling, hear me out. I know how scary it can be to talk to a stranger, but this would not be just any old stranger. This stranger would be someone like you, who is also nervously waiting to see their baby and communicate their willingness to chat. I would notice that I kept seeing the same women/families at my appointments, and usually, the time passed a lot faster when there was someone to talk to. If you are lucky, these strangers could even become friends beyond the waiting room.

6. Join an online community

If you are reading this, I’m going to go ahead and check this one off the list. Online communities like Pregnancy After Loss Support can become lifelines during those long pregnancy months. They help empower you and generate discussion and connection with others. (If you don’t have the Pregnancy After Loss App yet, make sure you download that too for extra support.)

7. Complete a short course

I am not suggesting a career change, but maybe there was something you always wanted to know more about, but your busy life prevented you from finding the time to do it. For many people, this new pregnancy presented an opportunity to slow down, so why not do the short course you’ve been wanting to do?

8. Create a personalized experience for your baby

Imagine handcrafting your baby’s room décor or their first stuffy. There are online businesses that turn your drawings into anything from jammies to wallpaper to stuffed toys. It’s okay if your first drawing doesn’t make the cut, you have nine months to try again. Check one out here.

9. Build a family tree

The addition of a new family member may get you thinking about your family’s history. Online services like 23 and me or can make light work of this, but if you have a knack for research, you can use the time to build a family tree for your little one. And, of course, this is a great way to honor and remember your angel baby.

Bonus tip: Do nothing at all

Truly, what you have been through is a lot and if you have the support that allows you to sit these few months out, then do exactly what you need to. There is no shame in choosing to focus only on caring for your body and your baby.

I would love to know if there are any interesting ways that you have been spending your time during this pregnancy. Regardless of how you choose to spend your time, I wish you the gentlest new year. I pray that you will meet your little one and experience all the joys that you wish for yourself. Happy New Year to you!

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