I lit a candle for my son and watched the flames flicker and dance around the darkness of my living room. How could a flame be happier than me?

When it was time to go upstairs to bed, time to blow out the candle, my heart broke a little more at the thought. No birthday candles for him on March 16th, no candles during a rainstorm when the power would go out, no lighting a candle in his room to mask the odor of gym socks. Just a candle lit in memory of his short life. Just a single flame representing the fire that burns in my heart for him. Just a light, that I would have to extinguish so I could go upstairs to bed.

I felt song lyrics bubble up in my heart and fill my brain, clouding my vision, and at the same time giving me clarity. “Take your candle, go light the world”.

I immediately thought of you, of us, of our community. We all have a candle, some have more than others, which we light in memory of our children who have passed away. Each of us stands in darkness and wades through despair and grief, just trying to find our way. Every flame has a story with a tragic ending and every flame burns just as bright as the next, no matter the story behind it.

What if we stood together? What if we each brought a flame to the same dark space that we all share? What if we stop qualifying one loss as worse than another and just stop to recognize that we are all holding a candle? What would happen? What would we come to learn about pregnancy, infant, and child loss? What could we show others?

We are so lucky to be a part of such a loving and supportive group, but not everyone has this. Let’s stand together. Let’s take our candles and go light the world! Share a picture of your candle in the comments and # a cause you want to shine light on.

#SIDSawareness #safesleeppractices

Ready to retire for the night, I bent down to blow out my candle. Leaning forward and gingerly tucking my hair behind my ear, I whispered to Leo, “I’m blowing out this flame, but my heart will always burn for you and I’ll always hold a candle for you.”

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