Maybe it’s because I live in a very small community. Or maybe it’s because people in general tend to blurt out whatever is on their minds. But, ever since I became noticeably pregnant a few months ago, nearly every time I go to the store, post office, or other public space, somebody stops me and tells me what they think about my body.

nettle harvesting - Libby's 32-week bump day blog: Stop commenting on my body!

Author’s Personal Collection/Libby Valluzzi – Nettle harvesting–nettle are prickly, which is appropriate for this post!

“So-and-so is pregnant but not due ‘til July, you’re so small compared to her!”

“May? You’re due in May? You’re tiny!”

“Your belly is just so little! [worried look]”


They would never (so I hope) tell someone their hips were looking wide, or their ears were really big, or their face had many zits. So why, why, WHY is it as soon as someone falls pregnant every person thinks they have the right to make some comment on the pregnant person’s body? Or to invade her personal physical boundaries and reach for her belly? Or give her unsolicited advice on what choices she should make in her pregnancy or in parenting?

I’m pregnant after loss, folks, and I’m already anxious and worried that everything will be ok with this baby (even though everything is perfect right now). And even for women pregnant without any prior losses: pregnancy is a strange and challenging time and we are all extremely vulnerable, especially about our changing bodies. Please, just be kind and thoughtful to us. And to everyone.  Just be a good human.

I’m really at my wit’s end. Literally, every time I go out into public I encounter this.

I have a right to do my grocery shopping without getting accosted by other people’s stupid thoughts!  I know, I know, I’m sure they don’t mean any harm and are just trying to make small-talk, but seriously.  Think before you speak.   A simple “congratulations” or “it’s really nice to see you”  is all you need to say.

Now, to come up with a kind but slightly snarky reply…

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