22 weeks! Baby Beanie is the size of a red bell pepper!! Wow! Our little boy is growing and thriving. It is also amazing to think that I am two weeks away from viability. That’s huge! It feels like such an amazing milestone. This pregnancy is picking up the pace and really flying by. Despite having a hard time last week with PTSD, due to the month of March being a reminder of our loss, I have been picking up the pace alongside with hubby getting things prepared for our rainbow baby. I’m trying my best to focus on the present and understanding that the pain of our first loss never will go away or be forgotten but we have another baby to also celebrate.
The beginning of the week consisted of doctors’ appointments.
The first one was with one of the doctors at the practice. Lately, my appointments have been relatively short due to the fact that my blood sugar numbers have been within range and my blood pressure is stable. The doctors are impressed, and I just remind myself that I will continue to manage my blood sugar with my diet and remain active. This pregnancy truly has been a blessing to be a high-risk pregnancy but not carrying so much weight all the time in knowing that you and baby are healthy! This is so important for any mama, especially one that has been through infertility and loss. There is trauma behind hearing bad news all the time or just knowing your risk and your diagnosis taking over.
I had a fetal echo exam, which is recommended for high-risk pregnancies as well. Considering that we did IVF, that was another major reason to have the fetal echo exam. As I walked into the room, I was not as nervous as I usually am when walking into scans. I have to say, I was disappointed in this scan because I could rarely see our baby boy. The main focus was evaluating the heart and all you could see is four little screens. No pictures were given either. When the cardiologist came in to review the pictures and videos, he was quiet for a while. This scared me because as I stated before, the trauma of silence when it comes to my past loss brings flashbacks. Then he turned around and said, “Everything looks great. Completely normal.” That was such a relief and just more reason for me to believe that this is our time and our baby is a warrior doing all the work in there.
Towards the mid-week on Wednesday, my husband and I went on a nice family vacation with his family to Delaware.
This definitely was needed, to step away from work and also have new scenery. I felt relaxed and was able to tap out from any anxiety. This trip made me realize more and more how things are really happening. We are about to be parents to a beautiful baby boy. I have been waiting to be able to travel while pregnant one day. It was such a different feeling rubbing my belly having conversations with family about baby boy including my sister-in-law who is also pregnant. We talked about our baby registries and things to expect. I honestly can’t wait for babymoon next and to continue to enjoy every moment in this pregnancy and for baby boy to continue to feel his mama being relaxed.