13 weeks! Baby Beanie is a size of a lemon. This week can also be considered as the second trimester. Either way, it’s still the longest milestone I have reached in pregnancy, as this is my second. It is amazing to think that our baby is growing in my uterus and that seriously brings happiness even in the midst of times when I am still so anxious. I have to remind myself this is what I have continuously prayed and hoped for, and I better start believing this is happening!
Now, this week is when the unexpected happened. My husband and I decided that we would officially announce our pregnancy to our personal social media.
We have a photoshoot planned for February 7th, and originally we were going to wait till the pictures were processed to then use that as our announcement. After asking my husband what he thought, I could tell he felt it would be cool to announce sooner. In his own words, he stated, “I can’t hold it anymore.”
I feel that it is so common for many people to expect a couple who has been through a previous loss to feel scared to announce because you do not want anything to “jinx” it by being too “excited.” What my husband said really stuck with me. I realized with our last pregnancy we never got to announce it because the pregnancy ended early. Instead, we ended up announcing our pregnancy loss to our personal social media to spread awareness.
I thought about it more deeply. Should I not be excited about our miracle rainbow baby? Wouldn’t hiding my excitement also make me more anxious?
I actually came to terms with the fact that no matter if I share early or not at all, the outcome is still not in my control. Since we did not get to announce last time, we have an opportunity now and have a testimony that is worth sharing. I wouldn’t want my child to know that Mommy and Daddy were so scared to announce. We still announced our previous loss. If we were able to share something so heartbreaking what would be the difference in sharing something joyful?.
So, yes we announced!
I made sure to highlight the struggle of this journey and how this is not a “Quarantine” Baby. This is our “IVF Miracle.” We went through so many obstacles and were not even sure where life would take us after the loss of our first baby. It felt good to also mention our first baby because she was a part of our journey and will always be a part of our story. One thing I learned from the announcement is that we should be able to share sad and happy moments in our lives because they are a part of the journey. I have to tell my anxious mind, no, I did not jinx anything. I am now living in my current journey right now, which is being pregnant after loss.