I am 17 weeks! Baby is a size of an Onion. This week is when I started to feel baby movements. It is such an amazing feeling to feel the kicks. I have even noticed when baby moves the most which is the late morning, a lot in the afternoon and small movements in the evening. I feel like I am connecting with baby boy even more this week. I have noticed when I sing he starts to move more. Playing music has been a daily routine I have incorporated for baby.
A new week is always the week for me to reclaim my power.
What I mean by this is with anxiety, there is such a rollercoaster of emotions, especially when it comes to pregnancy after loss. There are constant battles I have to face, still such as past trauma that does not go anywhere and risk with Gestational Diabetes and Preeclampsia. My main focus has been using the glucometer four times a day. I have been able to keep my blood sugar down and have been working out at least four times a week as well. I have to constantly remind myself of everything that I am doing to ensure that baby and I are healthy.
Also, I have to talk about the importance of mental health. I decided to get on the anxiety medication to help with my physical symptoms and panic/anxiety attacks. Also, I attend therapy as well to work through my emotions. It really has been helping focusing on me and what is in my control.
This week was the week for me to relax and do things that are important to me.
I scheduled a prenatal massage which was so nice to help with my back pain and round ligament pain. The reality is that pregnancy does change your body, but my body deserves some treatment too. When you deal with anxiety, it can put more stress on your body as well. I felt such a nice release when I went for the prenatal massage and will ensure I go once a month. My body and mind need that rest. Sometimes, its just nice to slow down. I gave myself the opportunity to slow down and I don’t regret it at all.
I’m facing my fears head on even with my anxiety and I was so proud of myself.
Starting a registry was easy but putting items in the registry has been difficult. I finally was able to add 25 items in the registry! This is a big accomplishment for me.
I also took a leap of faith and have started buying books for the baby. I always envisioned reading to my baby, and I chose diverse books, which is important to bring up for Black History Month. Our son will understand who he is. Loving all that he is.
My husband and I even made a big purchase with ordering the crib, mattress and dresser for baby boy. We are moving at the pace that works for me but realizing that pregnancy after loss is hard! But, it doesn’t mean that I will let anxiety take over fully. This week, I am celebrating the steps I have made for my mental health and also for our baby boy with taking the steps to allow myself to prepare for our sweet rainbow!