Anxiety is setting in worse than I feared. So far there have been no signs of the same complications I had with Jack. You would think that this would bring me comfort, and that my mind would be at ease imagining that I might just make it to full term. But it doesn’t.
Now, more than ever, I feel like a ticking time bomb. I am officially past the point where I lost Jack, and it only makes me search that much harder for any sign that I’m going to lose Bo as well. Pessimism has become my new fried as I imagine every movement being her last.
I made my fourth trip to the hospital this week. I became suddenly nauseous and after an hour of throwing up, I looked up what might make someone suddenly sick at 32 weeks pregnant. Of course, pre-eclampsia popped up, which was the only push I needed to go immediately to the hospital.