This week I made my third trip to the hospital. I guess I took my specialist seriously when he said I had every right to go to the hospital as often as I felt necessary, I just didn’t realize it’d be four days later.

Oddly enough I went in just hours after one of my check-ups. You’d think that seeing Bo move during the ultrasound would have brought me comfort; but as we all have learned, there is very little comfort in pregnancy after loss.

I came home after work and started feeling contractions again. Ever since my last visit I’ve continued to feel contractions, but never more than a couple in an hour. On Monday night I started to track them and soon saw that I was having a contraction every three minutes. I remained fairly calm because I could still feel Bo moving around, but I was nervous. I have been told repeatedly that more than five in an hour needs to be taken seriously.

I decided to head in just to make sure everything was okay. Deep down I didn’t think it was labor because for having one every three minutes, there was hardly any pain—they were just uncomfortable. When I arrived to the hospital they saw a lot of the same signs as before, basically just contractions. While it was comforting to know I wasn’t in labor, I was a little unnerved that this keeps happening. I was given a second shot to stop the contractions and then released.

The nurse told me that this could be because I’m a little on the small side, therefore allowing me to feel more of what’s happening than other women. This makes sense except that I didn’t have this issue when I was pregnant with Jack. Another possible reason is that I am just a “contractor.”

That’s how the nurse worded it when she told me about a coworker who had contractions her entire pregnancy for absolutely no reason (well I’m sure there’s a reason). Maybe my body is trying to be an overachiever and just making sure it’s absolutely ready for the real thing. All I know is this pregnancy continues to be nothing like I expected.

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