This weekend I did something that surprised me—I put together a partial nursery. It surprised me because I swore early on that I wouldn’t. I thought it’d be too painful or that it’d only get my hope up. But what I’m learning is that getting excited about Bo is part of my coping mechanism.
As with anything, when I get excited about something I want to plan. If I’m going to Disney World I’ll spend the weeks before just looking at pictures, reading blog posts, listening to Disney music. I do this with everything, and that includes having a baby.
While the painful memories of packing up Jack’s belongings are still very present, I actually regret that I didn’t have more ready for him. Yes he was my first child, and I had no clue what I was doing. But I find myself feeling guilty that I wasn’t as ready for him as I should have been. And maybe that’s why I feel a little guilty for having so much for Bo already.