What. A. Week.

This past week has held some of the highest highs and lowest lows in this pregnancy so far.

It started when we decided to share our news on social media.

We waited well past the typical “12 week” announcement. Throughout weeks 7 – 14 of this pregnancy is was struggling with anxiety and fluctuating emotions daily. The number of “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!” and messages we knew we would receive did not mesh with my emotional struggle, so we decided to wait. Around week 19, as I grew in confidence in this pregnancy we decided to share. This was a happy moment for us as now all our extended friends and family, everyone really, knew our happy news!

Janel's pregnancy after loss announcement

Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy

On January 19th happy days continued as I felt our sweet pea move (for sure) for the first time. Shortly after that on January 23rd, my husband was able to feel a few movements. We were both enveloped in a sense of calm, reassurance, and pure happiness being able to have this new experience together and know that our baby was growing healthy and strong.

The morning of January 24th we had our anatomy scan, and despite recent reassurances of course I had the familiar feelings of anxiety and fear going into the appointment.

They don’t tell you much, but as far as I could tell sweet pea was doing great. The ultrasound technician said they couldn’t capture all of the necessary images because babe was moving around too much, the heart rate was great and we got to take a look during the scan. I left the appointment feeling great and looking forward to the next few weeks.

About an hour and a half later I received a phone call from my family doctor saying I needed to go to the hospital immediately. There were signs on the ultrasound that could mean a risk of pre-term labour. After hanging up the phone I stood still for about a minute, in shock. Trying to process what I just heard, what to do and how I felt. I immediately called my husband and left for the hospital.

While trying not to have a full-blown panic attack, I certainly cannot complain about the level of care of received.

At the hospital we listened to babes heartbeat again (which was fine), I was prescribed progesterone and sent a referral for a high-risk obstetrician. Another happy moment among the chaos… I felt two clear kicks while I was waiting to see the doctor. It was like little sweet pea’s way of saying, “I’m ok in here! I’m good mom!” And just a few minutes after that, having to go over the details of my previous pregnancy and how it ended in loss, hitting a low point on the roller coaster again.

January 26th we headed out to see the specialist early in the morning. Upon our arrival, I first went for another ultrasound to confirm the findings from Monday. I could feel little sweet pea moving around again during the scan. After what felt like year of waiting (it was actually only about 2 hours) we spoke with the high-risk obstetrician.

Janel and her husband at 20 weeks pregnant - riding the rollercoaster

Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy

What a range of emotions and news in this discussion alone.

The high points, baby is good, healthy, growing, and in a good spot. The lows, there is concern about whether or not I can carry to full-term, I will be followed by a high-risk obstetrician for some time now, I will take progesterone for most likely the rest of this pregnancy and this news requires drastic changes in my current lifestyle.

If you have been reading my other blog posts you may have noticed that most of my pictures are of my husband and me outside! We love to hike and explore, routinely hiking 12+ kilometers every weekend. That is no longer recommended in my current situation, along with lifting anything, exercise, or any strenuous activity. Essentially I have been instructed to take it really easy, which will be a change and a challenge from my previous daily tasks. Receiving this news was definitely a low point for me.

Leaving the appointment we were reassured that baby is healthy and well, and we will be followed at the hospital to ensure I receive the best care. A high point on a rollercoaster we didn’t want to be riding this week!

So for now, we’ll ride the ups and downs and enjoy the new movement in my belly, taking it one day at a time!

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