Writing this now, pregnancy feels like last week and also a lifetime ago! Lilyanna is five months old and thriving. She is such a joy and is absolutely the sunshine of our days.
We had a pregnancy full of hope and excitement but also challenges and plenty of fear.
At about 23 weeks of pregnancy, I had a cervical cerclage put in place. Every day our little sweet pea was inside was another day she was able to grow bigger and stronger. The cerclage held and was planned to be removed at just over 36 weeks. At that time, I joked that wouldn’t it be funny if I got the cerclage out and then ended up having to get induced! What I thought was a silly, off-handed comment, actually became part of our birth story.
The cerclage removal went as planned, and a few weeks after that at my 38-week appointment, my blood pressure was elevated. The OB recommended induction the next day. My appointment was on a Friday, and I chose to wait until Monday to be put on the induction list.
I will never forget that weekend. Exciting. Scary (terrifying, really – can we do this?!). Anxious. Hopeful. Joyful (either way, we will meet our baby in the next few days!!). That weekend was fully dedicated to trying to induce labor naturally. That was my goal. My “birth plan” from very early on in my pregnancy was quite simple: have a healthy baby. As our pregnancy progressed, a birth plan did come together. The main highlights – go into labour naturally, avoid medication if possible, and have vaginal birth, followed by skin-to-skin. Well… that didn’t go to plan at all!
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Monday at about 11:00 am we got the call to come to the hospital.
I started on an IV drip of oxytocin at about 2:00 pm. The first five hours were pretty easy-going. It was hospital policy that I could only have clear liquids, but if I’m being honest, I definitely snuck some snacks!! We danced, chatted, and watched a bit of a movie – the calm before the storm, so to speak.
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Around 8:00 pm, my contractions really started picking up. Stronger and more intense until I thought I couldn’t handle it anymore. I tried to move around and find comfortable positions, but being attached to the IV drip and monitors, it was not exactly the labor I had prepared for. My contractions were strong, shockingly intense, and very close together. I had mentally prepared myself to handle contractions but to have a reprieve in between – this was not the case. By 10:00 pm, the contractions were basically one on top of the other, lasting about 30 seconds, but only 20 seconds apart.
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Finally, I caved. I didn’t want an epidural going in, but so many things had already not gone to plan, and I needed help.
My husband reassured me over and over that this was not giving up. With his encouragement and unable to manage the intensity any longer, I requested the epidural. But, I guess I asked at an inopportune time as the anesthesiologist was stuck in ICU. The two hours of waiting were the most exhausting (physically and emotionally) hours of my life. That was the time that I cried the most during my whole labor and delivery experience. I cried to my husband that I simply could not do it anymore; I cried because I was in so much pain. With plenty of encouragement, a bit of laughing gas, the breathing techniques we had learned, and some explicit language I won’t type here – I did manage.
During the epidural process, I think was the most scared I felt. The anesthesiologist informed me I could not move under any circumstances, even during a contraction. Because they were so close together, I had to sit absolutely still during two contractions during the procedure. It took all of my willpower and mental strength. After receiving the epidural, I was finally able to rest. I am so glad that I made the decision to have a medicated birth, even though it was not what I had originally planned. My husband was actually able to have a nap while I was in labor for about an hour! I relaxed and enjoyed a more pain-free experience while laboring down.
Around 2:00 am a nurse came in and offered a cervical exam. She informed me I was fully dilated and asked if I felt any pressure. I hadn’t realized until she asked how things had changed, but yes – I certainly did. She said it was time to have a baby! My husband was still napping, so I asked someone to please wake him up!
I started pushing, and all I could think during that time was that I get to meet my baby so soon.
I kept envisioning holding her in my arms and what her sweet face would look like. After pushing for about 45 minutes, one of the nurses discovered that my epidural line had come out. That was motivation if I had ever heard it! Shortly thereafter, my husband told me he could see our little girl’s head. Because her heart rate was lowering significantly during contractions, the OB recommended using a vacuum to help her come out. All of these things combined… I decided this was it! Two more big pushes, and there she was. I’ll never forget the feeling of her tiny body rushing out of me… pressure, pain, relief, and shock all at once. She was born at 3:41 am, just under 14 hours from the start of my induction.
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
I heard her first sweet little sounds, and she was placed on my chest. I immediately thought to myself, I would do this all again. She is finally here. I did it. Everything that happened was SO worth it. I had thought I would cry after she was born, but I didn’t. My husband took on that role, crying on and off for the first 45 minutes of our daughter’s life. I think he was overwhelmed by holding his baby girl. I had this immense feeling of relief and awe. I didn’t feel the need to cry. I was just incredibly full of love and contentedness.
She’s here, she’s healthy, and I did it.
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
We had kept Lilyanna’s name a surprise from everyone (even family and friends). A nurse asked, and I proudly responded, “Lilyanna.” It felt surreal to say her name while looking at her sweet face and hands. She was perfect, and she is finally here! Even though my labor and delivery did not go as we originally planned, I wouldn’t change a thing. Just like my pregnancy, it is part of our story. I feel incredibly lucky and am so in love with my little sweet pea!
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Author’s Personal Collection/Janel Morphy
Leave A Comment