Story by Sevyn
I am a courageous mama because I found the strength to endure a terrible 45-hour induction to bring my son into the world, even though I knew he would enter it in silence. They offered me several caesarean sections during my difficult labour, and I refused every time. I felt my body had let me down, but I wanted to give it the chance to redeem itself: I knew I could do it if I was strong, so I persevered. Giving birth to him was simultaneously the saddest and proudest moment of my life.
I am a courageous mama because I chose to pump and donate my son’s milk for 12 weeks after his birth to honour his memory. I donated 1,400 ounces of breast milk to a hospital that treats critically ill and premature babies, making a serious positive impact on the lives of many other families. It fills me with pride to think that, at the least, my son’s loss may have helped others to lead better lives.
I am a courageous mama because, after finding myself unexpectedly pregnant again three short weeks after I finished pumping, I conquered my fears and found the presence of mind to be happy. I know things could go wrong at any time, but I decided it was only fair to this baby to love them unconditionally – the same way that I had with my son.
I am a courageous mama because I made sure to seek medical staff that I trust with this pregnancy. After finding out that my son’s death was likely preventable and he might be here today if I hadn’t been misdiagnosed, my trust in medical professionals was seriously damaged. This time, I’m working with a reputable high-risk hospital (and a great OB) who respects my wishes and goes to great lengths to ensure I am comfortable at all times. I know that, this time, my concerns will be taken seriously. I have complete faith that they will help me achieve the best outcome possible with this pregnancy.
I am a courageous mama because I refuse to let my anxiety get the better of me. I am now 16 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby, who has no hand in our past hardships, and who deserves better than an overly fearful mother. For their sake as well as my own, I’m trying hard to be strong for them. While I sincerely hope for a take-home baby time around, I’ve resolved to enjoy every moment that I get with them, even if it turns out, once more, to not be as long as I hoped.