Story by Lisa Hand
I am a courageous mama because I lost my first baby at 9 weeks, then my second at 6 weeks, then my third at 28 weeks and my fourth at 10 weeks.
I am a courageous mama because despite six years of infertility, pokes, prods and treatments…I am still fighting.
I am a courageous mama because although my children are not here with me, I continue to parent them by honoring their lives and sharing their stories.
I am a courageous mama because even though the odds are against me, the risks are risky and their is no promise of a happy ending–I am still planning on a rainbow.
I am a courageous mama because even though I have a thousand physical, emotional, mental, genetic, infertile reasons to give up, I choose not to.
I am a courageous mama because I share my story in hopes it will help other hurting mamas find their courage.
I am a courageous mama because even with the years of trying, miscarriages and genetic issues–I lost my son to an umbilical cord accident.
Even though it seems like the universe is screaming NO NO NO…this courageous mama screams back…YES YES YES! I cry. I smile. I fight. I dance. I scream. I love. I believe and most of all, I hope.
I am a courageous mama because when the little voice inside shouts every reason to not get up and try again…I stand taller. I try harder. I fight again and again.
I am a courageous mama. Yes, I am a courageous mama.
It’s Mother’s Day and you know I have such mixed feelings. I’m sure you can relate. I sit here 23 week and 2 days pregnant and I should be ecstatic. I’m grateful to God for giving us another baby boy but grieving the loss of my son Judah. Born sleeping on January 8th at 38 weeks… I sit here in my computer room, reading blogs searching for commonality between others who know my struggle. Thank you for having the courage to move forward while holding onto the memories of your children. Thank you for having the courage to blog about your victories and struggles. Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers especially those of us whose babies are in heaven who have not yet had the opportunity to raise our children…
Tania, you also have such courage by trying again. I hope you found some peace on Mothers Day and every day as well as signs from sweet Judah.