The day of our 20-week ultrasound still feels a bit surreal.

It took me forever to fall asleep the night before, but surprisingly, I was able to sleep decently throughout the night. My husband didn’t have the same experience though — he said he tossed and turned and was woken up by dreams all night.

I tried to keep myself occupied as we drove to our 8:30 a.m. appointment. I was afraid that driving that same route we did so many times before, I’d get myself worked up before we even got there.

Once we arrived, we were greeted by a familiar, but different receptionist from who would normally greet us at our weekly appointments. We were then called back for our genetic consult with a different counselor — one who we didn’t recognize at all. This part was very brief. There wasn’t much to say because we had already done the non-invasive genetic test at week 10 and Charlie’s tumor wasn’t linked to the sex chromosome abnormality that the autopsy found. But regardless, the counselor was super nice and reassuring that he expected us to get good news that day.

Next, we headed in for the ultrasound. This was the part that brought back the most memories. We were in the same room where Charlie was diagnosed and there was all of the familiar beeping, scents, routine — but that’s where the similarities ended. We saw a new sonographer, cardiologist and perinatologist. And this time we got good news. It couldn’t have been a more different experience for us this time around. And for that, I’m so grateful.
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Once the appointment was over, I kept waiting for a this big release — but it never came. However, while there’s still a weight there, I do feel like a part of it has gradually lifted over the past few days, and I’m definitely much less anxious than I was a week ago.

Thanks for all of the supportive comments on last week’s Bump Day blog leading up to this big day for us. You’re all in my thoughts, mamas!

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