It’s different for each of us, but most of us have one.
Unless we lost our babies after a full-term delivery, during this pregnancy, we will all pass the milestone at which it happened.
“It” could be the day that we learned our baby no longer had a heartbeat, or the day that our baby was delivered prematurely. Whatever it was, it was a significant point in our previous pregnancy that we are anxious to be past.
For me it is 28 weeks and 2 days.
That is when I delivered my Brigid, four days after my water broke in the middle of the night one night, and her identical twin, Fiona, who had died eight weeks earlier. I was in the hospital and holding steady, and then my body just started to go into labor. She was born, at about 5 a.m., as my husband scrambled to get the the hospital to be with me. It was Mother’s Day, I was terrified, Brigid came out silently and was whisked away to the NICU.
The memories surrounding that traumatic delivery can bring all the many emotions that I felt flooding right back, and as I approach that point in my pregnancy this time around, I am reminded once again of that experience.
Now, better than any online pregnancy tracker can describe, I can visualize exactly what a baby looks like at that gestational age. Forget comparing them to an eggplant or a cucumber, or telling me what facial expressions they’re capable of making. I can picture that tiny pink body and that sweet, expressive face. I was in awe at her perfection at such an early age.
This week, I’ve been thinking about my upcoming milestone. The one I’m anxious to get past, but also thankful to have a reason to remember. I’m thankful that this pregnancy has been much less complicated and frightening than that one was, and that I will likely spend that day grateful that our little boy is still kicking away, safe inside my belly.
Have you reached your milestone yet? If so, how did you handle it? If not, is it something that you’re feeling anxious about?
Taking one day at a time with you,
Image by kirsche222