As this pregnancy progresses I have been getting more anxious. Ariella was stillborn at 39 weeks, so I don’t feel like I have “safe point” that, once reached, will make this pregnancy easier. When people ask me what will help my worry, the answer is always birth! I still find myself believing that we will bring this baby home with us but the thought of history repeating is constantly in the back of my head. To counter this thought I’ve been telling myself one simple sentence: history does not have to repeat.
It doesn’t! I’m very aware that for many people, history does tragically repeat itself. I have friends for whom history has repeated and they have said goodbye to more than one of their children. That thought breaks my heart and I cry with them over their repeated history. But for me, an unexplained stillbirth at term does not have to happen again. Will it? Maybe. I can’t know for certain until birth, but I have no medical reason to expect history to repeat. And so I will continue to tell myself multiple times per day that history does not have to repeat. And hopefully, it won’t. Do you have any sayings you use to get you through your pregnancy? I’d love to hear them.
Thank you for posting this, I will add your phrase to my list of prayers and affirmations! My son Andrew was stillborn at 38 weeks last October, and we also have no medical explanation – he just stopped kicking, and when I went to the dr that day, his heart had stopped. I look at my two living daughters and tell myself ‘THAT is how it’s supposed to turn out…THIS is how is is supposed to end.’ I know all too well that there are no guarantees, but telling myself this gives me courage. I’m in week 7 with our rainbow, so we have a long journey ahead.
My angel baby was stillborn at 38 weeks, due to a cord accident. My rainbow baby, who is now 3 months old, was born 11 days shy of my angel baby’s birthday. The pregnancy with my rainbow baby was veeery long and every minute of every day was very hard, but I always told myself to take it one day at a time. If one day seemed to much, I told myself to take it one hour at a time, and if that was too hard, I just focused on one minute at a time. And if each minute was too hard to face, I dealt with each second as it came and went. I wish you strength and courage at this difficult and fearful juncture in your life. May you be blessed.
Thank you for this post. It is inspiring. I just lost my daughter a month ago. She was stillborn at 38 weeks. She was full term and beautiful. My midwife told me after her birth that is was likely a cord incident. As my husband and I are still grieving our baby girls loss, we look for hope that history will not repeat itself as we try to expand our family again. I know if/when that rainbow pregnancy comes that I will be full of fear and anxiety. I will surely use affirmations like yours to help me through the journey. Again, thank you for sharing.
-One grateful and grieving mama