I’ve been feeling anxious this week to get things ready for the baby.

We switched some things around this weekend so that my husband’s former office has now become another bedroom for the children. The three boys are currently in the same room, so they will get to spread out a bit and they’re excited about that. And the blank space has me thinking about a nursery and decorating.

Some emails and advertisements for sales on baby things have had me almost wanting to buy an outfit or two.

Almost.

Not that we don’t have enough boy clothing. Just that each baby needs a little something new, I think.

But is it time for that yet?

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Photo by Carin

Twenty weeks feels like a major milestone indeed. Halfway through. More than that, actually, for me because I’ll have a c-section at 37 weeks thanks to a classical scar from my twins. There’s something about getting to twenty that feels good, though. Baby is kicking more and I can feel him every day. The bonding is happening, and the walls I’d built to protect my heart are starting to come down.  I’m using “when” instead of “if.”

But I don’t know that I’m quite ready to buy anything yet, let alone to set up the nursery.

There’s something about that step that is just too…committed. That will be too heartbreaking if I need to undo it. At what week does that change, I wonder.

I remember buying a few little outfits for Maeve at around 35 weeks, but this time around I’m feeling like I should be a little more confident. Haven’t I done this once already?

But I just can’t bring myself to let down my guard like that. Not yet, anyway.

How about you? If you’re still pregnant, have you bought anything for your baby yet? At what week did you feel comfortable doing so?  And if you haven’t yet, when do you think you might?

With love,

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