There is a tree in my neighborhood that has been getting my attention every night when I drive home from work.  It is a big, strong tree that spreads its long limbs wide.  During the holidays, my beautiful neighbors wrap the tree with lights and it becomes a moment of quiet reflection.  Part of the tree shines.  Another part is dark. Every night I’m struck by the contrast, how light and dark sit right next to each other.  When I stop to look at this special tree, I think of babies who were conceived, and loved, and nurtured, and treasured but who died.  And I think about the parents of those precious babies who look through their pain and darkness for light.  Finding light during the holidays when your world feels dark can be challenging.

When it is holiday time and you have had a pregnancy loss, it can be confusing. You might be numb or angry.  In the past, you might have enjoyed the shining lights of the season and felt a lightness of spirit. This year, you might feel more of the darkness and the heaviness of grief.  I understand. It is difficult to find your way when all you see is darkness.  Grief has become part of the picture and can overwhelm.

As you look around in the weeks to come, can you find your child in each of the twinkling lights you see and tell him or her that they are loved and remembered?  And can you find a bit of light inside of yourself that reminds you that light will return to your life at some point in the future? Let light illuminate your struggle and the path, even though the way may seem long and slow.

“Harmony will prevail. After darkness, there will be light. The light cannot come without the darkness. Better days are bound to come now.”
― Sook Nyul ChoiYear of Impossible Goodbyes


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