The weeks seem to be cruising by as we make it to the 24th week. I am really enjoying the wave of positivity I am on right now. The improvement in my mental health and outlook on this pregnancy from just 4 weeks ago is amazing and it feels so good. I hope it continues for as long as possible, because at some point my anxiety will likely creep back up as we get closer to the end.
Jelly bean had their first trip to the beach this weekend. The weather was perfect, the water refreshing, and it was great to get away from everyday life for a few hours. Being able to take time to relax, show off the bump, and soak up the sun was just what we needed to find peace ahead of officially announcing this baby to the world.
It has taken a long time for me to feel 100% comfortable announcing, mostly due to fear.
Fear of history repeating itself and needing to share that heartbreaking news again. Fear of poor reactions that are less than supportive. And most of all, fear of folks putting so much focus on this pregnancy that it feels like they don’t even acknowledge that Austin ever existed or that the pain of losing him is magically gone because we are pregnant again. Austin was and always will be my first child. He is my beautiful guardian angel keeping me and my family safe. He has changed everything about my life, and I carry him with me in everything that I do and the possibility of someone reducing him to anything less than that would feel like being stabbed in the heart.
Thankfully, our announcement on Sunday was met with love and many well wishes. Several individuals reached out to me directly to share their pregnancy journeys and it was great to feel their support. Of course, there is always the chance that someone will do or say something insensitive at any point in time, but for now I’m just enjoying the love.