Dear Santa,

I know you are extremely busy this time of year. There are millions of children anxiously waiting for your arrival – mine included. I know Nathan is much too young to understand, let alone write you a list just yet, but he’s a happy guy and loves just about everything (especially kitties). I cannot wait until he’s a bit older and will truly appreciate the beauty of Christmas.

I was wondering if I could ask you a small favor, as it’s the day before Christmas eve and my heart is feeling a little blue.

Elizabeth in front of the Christmas Tree at 30 weeks - Dear Santa, Please Visit our Babies in Heaven

Author’s Personal Collection/Elizabeth Michalski

I know you’re going to come to our home and see two stockings under our tree – and I know one will be filled, and one will not. And Santa, I really just wanted to know, after stopping to see all the wonderful children here on Earth – if you could make a stop in heaven. You see, I belong to a community of families who are missing their babies this Christmas, and it would mean the world to all of them, myself included, if you could spare some time to visit the angels. We all know Christmas is about love, family, and magic. A part of our hearts aren’t with us and we’d just like to make sure they get to experience the magic, too.

Teddy has been an extra wonderful big brother.

He picked out Nathan for us, who came last year at the beginning of the pandemic. It was really scary, and really hard, not seeing family and friends for a while. But Nathan arrived the day before our state shut down, and the nurse who was with me when Teddy passed got to be with me when Nathan was born. We got to bring our sweet rainbow baby home before the world got worse. Teddy had that planned, I’m sure of it.

Teddy also picked out his baby sister, who is now 30 weeks old in my belly. He decided he needed a baby sister, too, and he’s already begun looking out for her. I have my own personal guardian angel watching over this family, and I know he’ll make sure Delilah arrives safely, too. My heart aches wishing he was here to love her in person, but we’ll take what we can get. It brings me comfort knowing Teddy is with me, even if not physically.

If you have the time – and I truly hope you do – I know you’d make so many families’ hearts smile with this Christmas wish.

We cannot give our love to them in person – we cannot physically give them the gifts they deserve, or even a simple warm hug on this holiday. So we’re hoping as you stop at our homes, and see the stockings you will not fill, if you can just make sure you visit those up above. Please let the children in heaven know that their mommies, daddies, siblings, etc. – are always thinking of them – especially today as we spend the day with our loved ones.

Santa, I know you’re a busy, busy man. I know you have a lot on your plate – or should I say plates (how many cookies do you actually get at each house, anyway?). I know my truest holiday wish of having our sweet boy here in my arms cannot come true. But if you could give him my love when you visit – and tell him, “Thank you” – I would greatly appreciate it. I promise to leave a few extra cookies for you.


Teddy’s Mom

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