Please feel my hugs and the warm light of love and hope that I am sending you. This momentous journey you have embarked on (called life and in this case, also called subsequent pregnancy) can be full of joy, hope, and light as well as fear, worry, and disappointment.
You are brave. You are the essence of love. And courage. And compassion. And love, did I say love?
Your journey to here has been beautiful, hopeful, and amazing, yet also rocky, painful, and challenging to say the least. You have been in the valley and hopefully, you can see there is a mountain top. You have lived through the hurricane, tornado, tsunami storm and survived. And now have chosen to seek the rainbow and climb the peaks, knowing that storms can happen again and that falling is absolutely a possibility. Good for you. Despite it all, you dare. And you love.
By now you realize, you are not alone. Many of us have been there. Another baby is a risk, you know that. With love and hope could come another loss. Yet, love for our partners, our future, our families, our other children, and that deep desire to hold another baby in our arms drives us on.
No one promised us that life would be easy. But even in the midst of despair, there can be hope and the promise of a new day.
In the earlier years of my marriage to David, we had pure joy and fun, then tragedy and heartbreak (our children Marama, Brennan, and Bryna died far too soon). But after that came two rainbow sons who thankfully, live life fully and bring us much joy (including a grandson two months ago.)
During their pregnanices it was hard not to be worried and fearful. It was a friend named Debbie who changed my attitude and the manner in which I lived during those pregnancies.
After many, many losses of her own, she explained to me that the only way she lived to a new day and through a new pregnancy was by changing her attitude. She decided that she would live each pregnancy joyously and full of hope. That however much time she had with each baby was worth filling it with love and positive thoughts. That way she was giving each child a gift and helping her have little/no guilt about not enjoying her time together with her baby, just in case something were to happen. Whether it was 6 days, 6 months, 6 or 60 years, she would enjoy each one to the fullest. I loved that perspective and did my best to adopt it.
My children are now 30 and 32. I still have feelings of worry and fear that creep into my psyche. What if they are in an accident or get a horrible disease…Yet, I work to be like Debbie. What I have so far is beautiful! And those memories and moments can’t be taken away. There are no guarantees in life, but we do have today and I give it my all to be present, grateful, and in love with my children and grandchild, my family, and my life. And I pray often for more time with them ,thanking God for the many blessings I have been given.
Hold them dear. Cherish them. Sing, pray, talk with them, read books, tell stories to your unborn, deeply loved children. Don’t be afraid to bond. Instead, go big. Bond! Give! Believe! And most of all, share your motherly love. While we don’t know about tomorrow, indeed, we do have today. Be present and be with them as fully as you can.
Many blessings, Dear Ones. I pray that all your dreams come true; but even if they don’t, that you keep dreaming new ones. You are surrounded by all of us who care. And a love that can defeat and beat back fear any, and every, day.