At Pregnancy After Loss Support, we’re always looking for resources to share with our families. Children’s books hold a special place in our hearts because they help us connect with our living children and tell the stories of their siblings who died.
We’re excited to share this new children’s book series for families who have experienced termination for medical reasons (TFMR). The series is written by courageous mama Katrina Villegas and illustrated by Sandra Herrgott, and these special books help to explain the death of a baby to an older or younger sibling. These are the only children’s books available that are specific to the termination for medical reasons experience, filling a much-needed space.
One of the things that makes this series so special is that it is more than just one book. The series includes five books to give families a book that both best fits their circumstances and walks a family through the process of termination for medical reasons. Using age-appropriate, concrete language and correct terminology, these books will help your child understand their experience and work through their own grief. The simple and colorful illustrations bring the stories to life and show the complex emotions of this experience in a way that a child can really connect.
Our Baby is Going to Die
Description from the author: “The road of grief before the death of a sibling. Accepting the loss and understanding what will happen.”
Our Baby is Going to Die introduces the reader to Caroline, a young child, who is excited to have a new baby joining her family. But, one day they find out that their baby is going to die and they will have to say goodbye. The book walks a family through talking with their child about what is happening and what to expect. It anticipates questions a child might have and answers them in concrete, age-appropriate language. It validates the feelings a child may have and talks about ways they can connect with and remember the baby. It also gives the family a way to talk through making a plan for the day the baby would die.
Our Baby Died (Labor & Delivery Version)
Description from the author: “The road of grief during the death of a sibling. Coping with the loss and understanding death.”
Our Baby Died (Labor & Delivery Version) introduces the reader to Caroline and her family after they have found out that their baby is going to die. Caroline is feeling many different emotions, which the book describes and validates. Then the book approaches an important question families need to consider when when they have chosen to go through labor and delivery: Would the sibling like to meet and say goodbye the baby? It walks through the options and reasons why a child or family may choose the different options, what emotions may be involved, all using age-appropriate and concrete language.
The book continues by showing what to expect while waiting for the baby to be born and then the visit to the hospital. It walks through each step so simply, yet concretely. It breaks down this very complex situation in a way a young child can both understand and process. It really prepares a child for what to expect in a beautiful, helpful way. This is an incredible resource for families, showing how the family will cope together through and after their loss.
Our Baby Died (Surgical Termination Version)
Description from the author: “The road of grief during the death of a sibling. Coping with the loss and understanding death.”
Our Baby Died (Surgical Termination Version) introduces the reader to Caroline and her family after they have found out that their baby is going to die. Caroline is feeling many different emotions, which the book describes and validates. In this version of Our Baby Died, the parents explain that they will not be able to meet the baby, because the doctors will be taking the baby from mama’s belly, explaining in simple, concrete language.
When the parents return home, they have a special time together talking about and remembering the baby, showing how the family will cope together after their loss.
Remembering Our Baby
Description from the author: “The road of grief after the death of a sibling. Keeping the baby’s memory alive and coping.”
Remembering Our Baby introduces the reader to Caroline and her family after the death of their baby. It shows how the family is coping after the loss, describing and validating the emotions each family member is experiencing, answering questions a child may have, and conveying the importance of remembering the baby who died and including them in their family. This book beautifully walks a family through some of the ways they can remember a baby who has died, from early in their grief through to celebrating birthdays and living life after loss.
The Baby Before You Died
Description from the author: “Teaching a younger sibling (rainbow baby) about the baby that came before them and honoring their potential grief.”
The Baby Before You Died introduces the reader to William, a baby who has just been born. William’s older sibling died and his mama is feeling many different emotions after his birth. As William gets a little older, he starts to have thoughts and questions about his older sibling who died. This book walks through some of the questions a subsequent child may have, as well as the unique emotions they may experience, having never met the baby who died. It shows a family filled with love for each child and how each child is their own individual, much-loved and important in their family.
Final thoughts on this series of TFMR children’s books
At the end of each book is a special dedication page your family can fill out to personalize the book. There are also several pages of resources for parents, describing how to best use these individual books.
These books avoid religious metaphors and language, making them accessible to all families. And while there is a rainbow on some of the pages, “rainbow baby” is never used in the stories. At the end of The Baby Before You Died, in the resource section, Katrina does use the term “rainbow baby,” but not in the actual story.
The thought and care that went into these books are astounding. It is very evident that the author created what she needed and didn’t have when her family was going through the tragic terminal diagnosis of their daughter, April, and then their termination. These books are a tremendous resource for families walking the isolating and unique journey of termination for medical reasons, and we recommend them highly. These would make an incredibly thoughtful gift for a family going through termination for medical reasons.
You can purchase the entire series at a discount through Terminations Remembered shop, or individually:
- Our Baby is Going to Die
- Our Baby Died (Labor & Delivery Version)
- Our Baby Died (Surgical Termination Version)
- Remembering Our Baby
- The Baby Before You Died
Bulk purchases are also available through Terminations Remembered’s shop.
About the Author
Katrina Villegas lives in Maryland with her husband, Joe, and two living children, Caroline and William. Their middle child, April Rey, was diagnosed with trisomy 13 (a fatal condition) when Katrina was 15 weeks along in her second pregnancy. Devastated, Katrina and her husband made the heartbreaking choice to spare their daughter pain and induce the pregnancy early. Katrina wrote a blog at the time and recorded their story as it was happening. She’s become passionate about spreading awareness about terminations for medical reasons, and her full story and many others can be found at Terminations Remembered. In addition to the blog, she runs a TFMR community on Facebook, and she recently wrote a children’s book series on baby loss.
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