This week, I have come home, and I have landed in knowing I have been a home and safe place for this babe and how this babe has built me my own home…a place I now feel contented in.

Carmen's 37-week bump: Cell-in, Kick-in, and Connect-in

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

At the beginning of this journey, I see how I was faking it…trying to “cell” it to myself that I wasn’t afraid, just overjoyed.

I feel positively radiant for this baby because now I can visualize it all which makes me OK.

It carries on with you, dear little one, who started as a single cell, and it all grows deep in your cells.

Carmen playing with kiddos at 37-weeks pregnant

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

I reflect on this week, thinking I’m sad to think that this account of this pregnancy will end, but like everything, a new chapter and beginning and being will begin again. We are all birthed a new every time, and I am grateful to be able to share every part of this journey that I can read to this baby one day as we continue to grow together, always merging cells.

Carmen feeling kicks at 37-weeks pregnant

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

These cells have turned to rejoice in the triumphant kicks. I can’t stop touching my belly every time I feel movement while grieving this being the last time. I’ve been struggling with wanting baby out, while never wanting these kicks to end trying to catch the baby by the toe, never letting go! I’m also relying on the phantom kicks that always seem to stick around for me.

Carmen with friends at 37-weeks pregnant

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

In touching my belly, this home, I am connected to my own mama and all the mamas before and beside me. I’m visualizing how excited I was to meet my mama and her me. We are home! We are always connected. Our love starts so pure. We are a vessel. We are cells kicking and connecting, and I love the unity this brings to me and my life! I can’t wait! The excitement is making me kick a bit, or at least move and connect to my body and this baby more and more.

I popped my first stretch mark this week (I know I’m a freak!) I’m so excited to have this mark representing such growth and love with this baby that never ends. It feels so special. The cells are dividing and changing us all!!

Feeling more prepared in knowing I have everything I need–I always have. I got you babe, this home! I grew you and you grew me!

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