Baby is the size of a Pear 🍐. I’m trying “Peary” hard to keep with the “Produce Baby Trend,” as this is the first time I’ve ever documented my pregnancy like this. I was always to scared too, so I stopped taking weekly shots. This weekly blog holds me accountable, and trust me, I thank you, and so will this babe one day!

Carmen's 16-week bump with a pear - Fluttery Feet and Heart

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

This week, I felt the slightest flutters for the first time!

Though I keep trying to distract from it. The cramping really does scare me, and I’d be lying if I didn’t think each night that this could be it. For me, it has always been an un-easy territory until I feel those movements for sure. Further in the pregnancy, I would give my belly a shake to be sure and feel comforted most times for a moment.

It felt like a little bird flapping! These flutters are always monumental moments for me, and yet I still worry knowing the feeling of them being taken away and or continuing on as phantom pain after a loss. They are so wonderful and so painful. I thought of a picture of a statue I came across when I was pregnant with our firstborn Case, imagining my family. You are the little birdy in a pear tree.

Statue - Carmen's Bump Day Blog, Week 16: Fluttery Feet and Heart

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

Like my cravings, which are salty with such things as pickled beats, pickles, and sauerkraut on everything mixed with the sweetness of pears, I held my hand to these tiny movements, loving them, taking them in, and bawling so hard as a thank you for your ap-PEAR-ant confirmation and comfort while remembering that too many times before this I felt those same movements before not knowing the fate. I just love this baby so much.

As I’ve shared before, I believe in the signs my babies send me.

Carmen laying on the beach, journaling - Bump Day Blog, Week 16: Fluttery Feet and Heart

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

When I went to one of my favourite beaches, I found another helium balloon! I was the only one here witnessing it (remembering its pink colour could have so many meanings). As I went to leave the beach I saw another one I had missed, left on a pole, being reminded this baby and I are always a “pear” with all the spirit babies sending us love, grace, and guidance always.

Balloons tied to a tree - Carmen's Bump Day Blog, Week 16: Fluttery Feet and Heart

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

Balloons mean many things as they came after my son Jude, who I lost to TFMR, and before my rainbow daughter Ayda. I’ll never forget the two helium balloons that floated past our window prior to delivering Jude. My TFMR angels Kaia and Jude a “pear.” It is all going to be OK no matter what, as I remember all the previous stories and precious signs get intermingled and cause worry but also bring comfort.

Carmen's 16-week bump - Fluttery Feet and Heart

Author’s Personal Collection/Carmen Grover

With these fluttering feet and my always wavering fluttering heart, right now we are all together, A-PEAR-ing, Dis-a-PEAR-ing like my scared thoughts. Together we are PEAR-fect!

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