Love grows. It might seem unimaginable that there is space in your heart to love more, yet that space is created. Think about the love you have for your partner. For most of us, that love didn’t happen overnight. It might have started as a kernel we thought of as friendship or attraction. It expanded to respect and caring before one day, when we might not have been consciously aware, it became love.

When you have a child and are contemplating a second, a common fear is, “Will I have enough love for another child?” This same fear is echoed for those that don’t have a living child, but who’s first baby died too soon. Will there be enough space to hold and love another? Is there room to love, when that means risking your heart to potential pain? A common concern I hear from baby loss moms is that will loving another, or even opening up to the possibility of another pregnancy diminish the love that I had for my baby that I lost? Somehow, the notion of ceasing to feel the pain of grief gets equated to the idea that the love also ceases. As if the softening of the grief pangs echo the idea of forgetting.

Neither is true: grief is not forgotten even though it might not be felt as acutely. This can be a hard thing to think about as the one tie that remains of a baby is that sadness. The idea of holding onto the excitement of potential as a way of also expressing love—both for the baby you lost and for the baby you are working to create—might be a hard thought. It is because of the love you had for the first baby that you are willing to take on the risk to experience that joy again. You are willing to take on the risk for the potential heartbreak and heartache that children cause—both living and deceased. The love you have for your lost child is built upon and expands for the love that you will have for this future baby.

We are fortunate that love grows, because as it does, so do we.

*Photo Source: “*heart*” by Britt-knee at Flickr, licensed with Creative Commons 2.0

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