I’ve traveled a bumpy fertility road suffering two miscarriages as a result of exposure to DES. A rainbow is finally appearing for me as I’ve come to learn about my current pregnancy and the expectancy of a successful birth.
Today I am 14 weeks. I had my first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks. The very few family members that I’ve shared my pregnancy news with all claim that I have “the glow” but really I just feel bloated, sluggish and borderline depressed. I’ve also been feeling guilty about these feelings and reluctant to share them with anyone because I know I should be grateful to be pregnant after all that I’ve suffered, and the last thing I want is to hear is anyone telling me that.
However, I am digging myself out of that guilt because I know the truth.
The truth is, I am beyond grateful and ecstatic at the news of my pregnancy and the fact that this is the furthest we’ve ever gotten. While I am very happy about that, it doesn’t take away from the fact that being pregnant, I am still overwhelmed with emotion-altering hormones combined with fighting against the anxiety of my past miscarriages. My feelings are not abnormal. They are valid. So, I refuse to allow myself to fall into that hole of guilt. No, I am not feeling my best, but I am doing my best.
Today I want to encourage you to remind yourself that you are doing your best even when you do not feel your best.
Remember that your feelings are temporary and it’s okay to have them. Sometimes you have to slow down, take a break, breath deeply and grow through your feelings. Speak positive affirmations to yourself and to your growing baby and find the light within you to restore a positive attitude.
A lot is happening in your mind and heart that most won’t understand. You’re traveling down the same road that once led to heartache and sorrow and while it’s the same road, you have to believe that the destination this time will be different. It’s a battle of faith and endurance. Never allow a few low emotions to guilt you into thinking you aren’t grateful or convince you that you are losing. You are winning this. Even when you don’t feel your best, you’re still doing your best.