This past Sunday was International Bereaved Mother’s Day, and last Saturday was TFMR (Terminated For Medical Reasons) Awareness Day.  Days that I never knew would have existed had I not been initiated into the baby loss club. Days that make you realize how much pain and sadness some people are carrying with them. As we have reached the milestone we’ve been anxiously awaiting, my thoughts have been with those moms who are pregnant after loss and who are waiting many more weeks and months to reach their “milestone” week. I have been working on finding peace in where we are at and I hope those mothers in waiting are able to do so as well.

Bridget's 15-week bump - We made it to another milestone

Author’s Personal Collection/Bridget Wicherek

We made it. We made it past the last “we have to get this far” milestone of 14 weeks.

I’ve been feeling good, and the bump is growing, and I am looking forward to seeing and hearing my baby tomorrow. 

I have noticed that I frequently touch my abdomen, especially my lower abdomen. I remember doing this when pregnant with my son, but I remember the rubs and pats being more loving. Now, it seems I’m doing it more so to make sure it still “feels” pregnant. I know as well as any other loss mom or person who knows a loss mom that there is no single day or week when we can say, “We’re in the clear, we’re good to go.” And as I did in the very early weeks of this pregnancy, I am still telling myself, “Today I am pregnant,” and reminding myself that I have no physical reason to think that something is not going as it should.

Last summer I bought some new maternity clothing items out of desperate hope and the experience of having to return them was not one I want to experience again.

I’m starting to think that maybe after tomorrow’s appointment, I’ll let myself have some fun and order some maternity summer clothes and bathing suit. Maybe we’ll even make a public announcement. But for now, we wait for tomorrow’s appointment.

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