Jamie Gordon lives in California with her husband and her son Samuel; her son Malachi resides in heaven. Jamie and her husband were married in the summer of 2010 and quickly wanted to expand their family. The following early spring, they were excited to find out they were pregnant. Jamie enjoyed a complication free pregnancy, which resulted in the birth of their first son by c-section at 39 weeks, whom they named Samuel. When Samuel was one year old, they decided they wanted to try for another baby. They quickly got pregnant, but sadly this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 13 weeks. Fast forward about 6 months: they were ready to try again. It took no time at all, and in September 2013 they were excited to find out they were expecting again, due June 25, 2014. Everything seemed to be going smoothly as the pregnancy progressed, but Jamie always felt “small.” At the 20 week anatomy scan, after learning they were carrying a second baby boy, they also learned there was some fluid around his heart. Her OB scheduled her for another ultrasound four weeks later. That ultrasound led to the knowledge that there were severe blood flow issues with their son’s umbilical cord, and he was diagnosed with IUGR. Jamie was admitted to the hospital and was told they would be there until their son was born. Jamie was 25 weeks pregnant. 3 days later, at 25 weeks 5 days, Jamie developed Class 1 HELLP syndrome, and her son, Malachi, had to be delivered immediately to save both of their lives. He was born weighing 1lb 1.8oz. He survived birth, but it was soon discovered that Malachi had a congenitally blocked bowel. This only added to his complications of such an early birth. Malachi endured multiple surgeries and was ventilator dependent. On July 12, 2014, 127 days after his birth, Malachi James passed away and entered the gates of heaven peacefully as Jamie and LaRon held him. Their hearts were shattered but they knew they wanted to keep expanding their family; they just needed a bit of healing time. In February 2015, they began to “try” and on May 20, 10 months after Malachi’s passing, they found out they were expecting and due January 27, 2016. On June 17, they found out Jamie had a blighted ovum and a D&C was performed a few days later. Loss after loss, then attempting to conceive again is something wrought with fear. Fear and Hope struggle to make their place. They cling to hope that one day their family will expand with more children here in their arms. Jamie has written about their journey with Malachi over at Wife. Mommy. Work.