When Lindsey Henke founded Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) almost three years ago, there were few resources for women who were pregnant after a pregnancy, infant, or child loss (PAL). In those three years, PALS has contributed to newfound awareness of the unique nature of the PAL experience and more resources are available. Just last
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Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing, and Pregnancy after Loss $16.95 Buy Note: Payment fulfillment by Amazon.com. Written by Alexis Marie Chute, PALS contributor and friend. After her son, Zachary, dies in her arms at birth, visual artist and author Alexis Marie Chute disappears into her “Year of Distraction.”
When you’re pregnant again after loss (PAL), it’s so easy to get inside your head. You’ve been introduced to the “baby loss world” and you have suddenly become aware of the many ways a baby can die during pregnancy. It’s so easy to go to a bad place very quickly. For me, affirmations were so
Mother’s Day is a trigger for bereaved Moms. I experience this every year, even seven years after my son Zachary died. I’m grateful for International Bereaved Mother’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate my bond with my child I carry in my heart. Still, the month of May can be hard. This is why I
When I think back to what I was like in the early days after my loss, I barely recognize that person. I have grown and changed so much in the seven-and-a-half-years since my second child, Zachary, died in my arms moments after birth. At dinner tonight, my daughter Hannah pulled out a question card from
While my pregnancy after loss journey has brought me much joy, I still find Christmas a trigger season. I know it is a hard time for many grievers. It’s a sad paradox, really; a time so intent that we be merry is in fact a source of sadness for some. My son, Zachary, was due
I didn’t give much thought to grief before losing my son, Zachary, to a heart tumor in 2010. My few experiences with funerals were few and far between. There I observed the bereaved as sullen but composed. They were not weeping, though did shed a few tears. They were not outwardly angry and thanked people
A “legacy project,” as I call it, is a great way to remember your baby that died and a special way to make him or her a part of your family moving forward. A “legacy” is something which is passed down, something given from one generation to another. Though our children’s deaths are natural order
I often write about ways to honor the babies not with us, but I believe it is also important to celebrate our rainbows in unique ways. Here are some ideas: 1. When you are pregnant, commission a body artist to paint your growing belly with inspiring and hopeful images. I did something like this
I’m sure we’ve all experienced the ache of remembrance. It happens when observing other people’s children who are the age our baby that died would have been. Or it happens when we meet pregnant women whose gestational week sets off a painful trigger. After loss, it seems impossible to avoid these situations. I have
I have always been one to announce my pregnancies early. The excitement was too high to keep it a secret; I felt like my ginormous smile would give it away. However, when I got pregnant with Eden after Zachary died, I debated when to tell my family and friends that I was expecting again. It
The decision to try for more children after loss can be complicated. It may be a joyous choice; you are focused on all the good that can come out of having a child and what your family will look like. At the same time, it can be worrisome: Will I lose another child? What are